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Literature Text
How could I feel more beautiful than I do now?
With the way you're staring at me like I was the Queen;
Longing for my next move to be towards you.
Could one feel more loved by a simple look?
The way I do now with you gaping in your spot;
Your expression filled with so much tenderness for me.
Should anyone be able to see such devotion beaming in another's gaze?
The way I see your eyes right now as you take my hand tonight.
Is it possible for the eyes to truly be the window to our soul?
For if it's true, then baby, I can see straight into your heart.
Written for
s weekly writing prompt ' Your eyes on me' Well there's no beating around the bush with this piece, last night
made me feel this way (at least in a way) so when I saw this prompt this quickly flowed due to how I was feeling because of him. ^^Critiques are awesome.
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© 2011 - 2024 Christianonfire7
Comments13
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Overall Vision Originality Technique ImpactThank you for participating in our prompt at #Live-Love-Write! <img class="avatar" src="a.deviantart.net/avatars/l/a/l…" alt="
" title="Laspinplz"/>This was such an affectionate poem! The feelings were well conveyed and gave the reader a warm feeling just from reading the lines. I especially liked your opening with the mention of being looked at like a queen; it was a good way to set the positive mood of the piece. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/n/n…" width="15" height="15" alt="
" title="Nod"/> It's also tells just how treasured of a situation your poem describes.The question lines gave the piece a realistic feeling while still maintaining the overall mood. It definitely had a good, perhaps a bit rough, type of "from the heart onto the page" feeling to it.
Great work!
*TheFinalHikari
Founder of #Writers--club, #LandoftheSky, and #Live-Love-Write