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Literature Text
Daring, Daring, Daring.
This dream was a trap, lost was to be my soul.
But I crept into this darkness,
To this lost chamber of my mind.
I sought it out, to grasp onto this lack of reality.
They didn't understand;
Simply thought I was losing my mind.
Maybe, just maybe I really was.
Though at least I was finding myself.
The me who was engulfed...locked inside myself.
They said I was turning into the dark hollows.
But, to tell you the truth, I was embracing the light.
By daring to dream.
This is written for
's weekly writing prompt, 'Daring to dream.'Critiques would be grand.
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© 2012 - 2024 Christianonfire7
Comments6
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Overall Vision Originality Technique ImpactThank you for participating in our prompt at #Live-Love-Write! <img class="avatar" src="a.deviantart.net/avatars/l/a/l…" alt="
" title="Laspinplz"/>I like your approach here! The story of this piece unfolded nicely; especially with the mentions of the narrator mentioning how others viewed her. The contrast between the opinions of others and her actual conceptions were well written.
I do think that developing the trap element you mentioned in the first stanza in a clearer way might have made things more interesting. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/n/n…" width="15" height="15" alt="
" title="Nod"/> And one little thing I noticed; after the "..." in the second stanza, you have a space that doesn't necessarily have to be there.All in all, good work! <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/l/l…" width="19" height="19" alt="
" title="La la la la"/>*TheFinalHikari
Founder of #Writers--club, #LandoftheSky, and #Live-Love-Write